Realized Relationships

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An ongoing series of Love

Why loving yourself is the foundation.

March 15, 2019

We hear it all the time... How can someone else love you if you don't love yourself? Like most sayings there is some truth behind it. How we feel, love, and treat ourselves will be the standard of expectations we will have of others. I know, I know, we ALL know.... We can do better, we SHOULD be better! What not everyone knows is HOW to feel better about ourselves.

We hear society give us hints like self-care, read this book etc...

How many books have you read? I know I have read 100s, do they help? Maybe! I have learned a lot from books, but not until I had healed my self love, and self image issues. 

As a coach I always start my Self Love Coaching with Self Talk. Almost a fake it till you make it style self talk. I do not tell my clients not to date, I actually suggest they casually date while working on themselves. We create our wish list and deal breaker list through experience. 

Knowing what I know now, I can not imagine going backwards and seeing myself through my old eyes. 

Imagine going on a great first date... After the date do you feel excited because someone actually likes you? If this is your knee jerk reaction, you are not ready for your big love!

If your partner treats you disrespectfully... Do you know you should be better? Do you stay because of the kids? Do you worry about who else could love you? If these are your self thoughts, you are probably not ready for your big love!


Big love is wonderful, amazing, fulfilling, and everything you could ever dream of. Its also respectful, trusting, safe, and A LOT of work!

My coach, yes as a coach I have a coach, has helped my partner and I create open dialogue, and trust. She coaches us in our big love to keep it a big love. Thanks to the work I've done with my coach I am able to enjoy myself and my partner, flaws, fights, and all.

Did you just take your teeth out?

February 14, 2019

Online dating is sooooo fun?! After talking to a guy on POF we decided to meet. Usually I like to set a quick meet for a drink or coffee, if the meeting is good we can continue onto something like dinner. This guy was great, he hit all the things on my relationship wish list, and didn't seem to have any red flags. Conversation is good, a little light banter into some big deal conversations... I am a little bit excited at this point. I should mention that teeth is one of my only physical deal breakers... 

So we sit a little closer, our body language becomes flirty! We both order steak for dinner and hold hands while we wait. Dinner arrives at the table and to my horror and shock, he removes his dentures and sets them on the table.......................................................

WTAF! My jaw drops. I stare at him for what I am sure is an eternity... He is totally oblivious to my reaction and staring eyes. So casually and naturally he eats his whole steak with no teeth in. I don't think I took one bite of my meal as my eyes went from his teeth on the table to his sunken in mouth.

I repeat, WTAF? Eventually he realizes I am staring and not eating my meal. he says "Oh, ya I can't eat with my teeth in." like this is no big deal?!

Am I shallow? Am I going to lose my lunch? Come on here, I don't care if you have dentures, but I never EVER want to see them! As I hold back my gags and text my friend under the table for an escape plan, he continues to gum his steak.

How could this seemingly perfect date go so sideways.

To be clear, I would date a man with dentures, but let a girl catch feelings before you set them on the table in front of her. Maybe date a little, casually mention that you have false teeth so its not such a shock, and God please NEVER set them on the [email protected]#$ing Table!

My child is Transgender, why am I so sad?

January 15, 2019

Learning your child is Transgender can come as a big shock! Everything changes, everything seems so big. So much fear... So many questions... But why are you so SAD?

So many parents feel like they are losing their child, even though that child is standing right there. Why does it feel like such a loss?

Dreams, plans, and vision. We often base our whole lives, future, and happiness on the ideas of whats to come. If your child comes out as transgender all those dreams, plans, and visions are no longer there. Perhaps this is the loss we really feel?

If you had plans and visions of your daughter growing up and being a Mom, but now they are going to be a Dad, or worse what if they don;t ave kids? These are the kinds of fears we may have.

Fear is the opposite of love, living in fear sucks all the joy out. 

Your child is not gone, in fact many transgender people find peace, joy and happiness in coming out and living their authentic lives. Maybe as a parent you can have the best of both worlds. Maybe you had years with your Mammas boy, and now you get to do all the Mother Daughter things.

Do you really feel like you are losing your child? Sit down, make a list of what you are losing, and what you are gaining. You will probably see you are gaining much, much more than you are losing.

Your child coming out may actually have saved them!